went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
