shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
