He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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