Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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