I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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