the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I can't trust your balls anymore.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
