I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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