Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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