He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Randomize
