One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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