oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
