I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
