I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
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