and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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