I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
