Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
