We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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