There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Randomize
