Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
