i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
