How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
