Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
