were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
