id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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