Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
