my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Is it because I queefed?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
