I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
i believe in u and ur pee
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
