The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
