i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
