she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
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