I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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