Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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