Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
