so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
