Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
