I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
This house was built for laser tag.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
