You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
