You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
