The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
