Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
