At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
