I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
