She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
