I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
