Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
