high people should be assigned attendants
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
