I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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