so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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