Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
