Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
you had me at cake vodka
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
