Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
