Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
No subtext here. People are naked.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
